Preemies and Broken Hearts

 

Yes, I know, this is a Baker's Blog...

 

This is also a blog about my life, my family, and the events that have led me on this path.   So today, I feel compelled to share some of the heartache and unspeakable joy I have endured throughout the past few years in my personal life.  So here it goes...

 

 

 I love children.  So much so, that prior to opening my bakery, I was a pediatric nurse.  I have a strong motherly, nurturing instinct that I have found extends past children, but also to adults.  People in general..  I just have this strong, compassionate side to me that I try to stifle every now and then to protect my oh so very sensitive heart.  I can't stand to see others hurting or in pain, emotional or physical.  It wounds me deeply.  Yes, I understand that we live in an imperfect world and it can't always be rainbows and butterflies.  But sometimes, I wish...

 

 

Anyway, back to my story.  I have 3 wonderful, amazing, and vigorous children. All boys - I love each of them dearly.  Each of them were born prematurely, emergency c-sections - all of them.  Before my last two children, I discussed with my physician about the possibilities of having a healthy, safe pregnancy.  He told me that there was no way to predict if I would or would not have medical problems with the next birth and that my husband and I should not let the "what if" prospect stop us from having children.  I'm so thankful for his advice, even though we struggled through each pregnancy, with the last being the most severe. 

 

 

My youngest boy was born 2 and a half months early.  It makes me want to cry thinking about it.  My ob/gyn was more than generous in allowing us to wait, on bedrest to buy more 'womb-time' for him.  Finally, after 2 months of bedrest at home and less than a week of "strict" bedrest in the hospital, our doctor laid it on us.  Wait any longer and we could lose the baby, we could lose me, or we could lose both of us.  So, it was then out of our hands and into God's.  

 

 

Here is a picture of Maddox a few hours after birth.  This picture still breaks my heart.  This is how he looked the first time I saw him in the NICU.  All 3 and a half pounds of him.







 

This picture below shows him grasping my thumb with his whole hand.  It gave me such hope.

This is the first time they let me hold him.  It was a dream come true.  My baby in my arms.  I held him for 3 hours straight.

This is the first time they allowed him to wear clothes.  He had to reach a certain weight and have better temperature regulation before they allowed clothing.  So the first time I dressed him.  Another milestone.

This is Maddox today.  He is almost bigger than his 2 year old brother.  He is perfect and healthy, and you would have never known how he struggled his way into this world.  We are so proud. 

 

Please visit us at www.bliss-fullness.com to see how you can make a difference in the life of a preemie, a family struggling through the loss of one, or to the wonderful volunteers who support those enduring their journeys through such heartache and emotional suffering.

Dreams and Never Giving Up.

I had a dream the other night, November 9th to be exact.  It was beautiful and scary and inspirational all at once.  In my dream, I was watching a horrific storm from my window, the sky was dark and haunting, with chilling lightning strikes and rolling, angry thunder filling the atmosphere.  I couldn't take my eyes off of the storm, I was in awe.  I nudged my oldest sister and attempted to convince her to admire the beauty of what was occurring.  She was not interested, but I was captivated.  So much so, that I dared to walk outside into the eye of the storm.  There was so much water, everywhere, it was dark, the ground was no longer visible, flooding water up to my knees, yet somehow I couldn't resist the pull of the storm.  The thunder boomed around me, vibrating the unstable, wet earth under my feet, then as if I expected it, the last visible portion of a grassy hill in the distance erupted into the water and the whole earth was washed over and taken by the storm. 

I was not afraid.  I expected the storm to take over, full force all around me.  I was not afraid, I was in awe of the power and strength and pull of the atmosphere. 

Suddenly, the next instant, I was sitting on a beautiful beach, the sun warm and shining over me.  I felt at peace, tranquil, and so full of joy and happiness.  It was so perfect and beautiful and surreal.  I was alone, hair and clothes wet, but so full of peace.

After having this dream, it affected me so much so that I consulted my mother and sister.  I also shared this with my sister-in-law.  Everyone as well as I, agreed on the symbolism in my dream. 

Right now, I am facing a storm, head on.  I am not afraid of it, I am pulled towards it.  The struggles, the uncertaintly, the instability of what I am up against.  Yet I continue on.  I feel frightened at times, yet I also feel a peace, knowing that I was directed onto this path by God Almighty, who can move heaven and earth and all things in between.  The storm is so scary, yet I cast my cares to Him so that I can focus on this mission and path that He is leading me.  I know in my heart of hearts, that once this storm is over, well, it will be sunshine and joy.  For how long? I don't know.  But I aim to pass this test of faith with His strength carrying me through this difficult journey. 

I will never give up, I'm waiting for the sun to shine on me again.  I wait patiently, peacefully, knowingly.  It will come.

The need for purpose and meaning in life.

A dear friend of mine who is also a baker made a comment on facebook that brought some inspiration to me today.  She mentioned in her post how thankful she is to have meaning and purpose in her life. 

As a former pediatric nurse, I have always longed to help and nurture others.  My passion was to help the sick and less fortunate, and the greatest reward I earned in my career was seeing those children recover and regain strength.  Unfortunately, there were also times when I questioned how such tragedy could exist in those that are so innocent.  The senseless sufferring and loss of those that were so beautiful yet weakened by illness or injury, but so very loved.  It broke my heart, many, many times.  As a matter of fact, the reason I am no longer a nurse is because I didn't believe my heart could take any more of it.  It is such an emotionally exhaustive career, not just for nurses, but for all of those that work in the health care field.  I admire and praise those that have the strength to continue on in the field.  Their work is so under-appreciated, so if you have the opportunity, hug a nurse, or a doctor, or a medical assistant, or just a simple smile or a "thanks for what you do" to lift their spirits and help them to continue on. 

My move to the bakery scene here in Wichita, I believe was also inspired by my need to help and uplift others.  I love the fact that I can also touch lives in a positive way through my baking.  Whenever I bake a birthday cake, wedding cake, pastries, anything really, it brings me such joy.  I love the fact that I can be a part of such significant life events, such as marriage, anniversaries, first birthdays, 50th birthdays, and more.  I am so grateful for the talent God has blessed me with.  Trust me, I take no credit for my baking abilities, it is all God!  When a customer told me that my croissants made her cry because they are so good, or when a young mom told me that my dark chocolate espresso cupcake was better than se*(you know what word I mean;-)  I felt truly honored.  I baked a peach cobbler for a young lady for her husband's birthday and he emailed me telling me in such expressive words how amazing it was.  All of these build up to my firm belief that there is a great purpose and meaning to being a baker, and I cherish every second of it.

Until next time,
Angie

A Magnolia Flower Wedding Cake

A beautiful three-tiered magnolia themed wedding cake.  This cake was another one of those "all-nighter" cakes.  The reason = magnolia flowers.  Another reason = we NEVER freeze our cakes - a large part of our success is the quality and freshness we offer, so we alway maintain a strict policy of delivering high quality products that are always fresh.  Oh, and another reason.... we don't have any employees!  So we bake and decorate everything ourselves!  That is a huge reason in itself, I laugh as I post this....  An 'oh yeah' moment...  We are a small business, that is probably an understatement!  However, I do feel strongly about our commitment to quality.  When the owners are the ones putting out the products, the bar is set way high.  We hold ourselves acccountable to our own expectations, every product we sell is our name and reputation on the line.  Our family, our children, our financial future, this is the passion that drives us.  I'll stop here, I believe I am rambling...

Anyway, back to this cake - Magnolias are sooo exquisitely beautiful.  I love them.  I love making them also, but they are (in my opinion) one of the most challenging flowers to make.  I am in no way a traditional baker or cake decorator, so a large part of the challenge lies in making sugar flowers and cakes that are 100% edible.  I do not, nor have I ever used floral wire, or floral tape in decorating my cakes.  The idea of children pulling a petal or flower off of a cake always enters my mind.  I'm a pediatric nurse, if I haven't mentioned that in any previous posts.  So safety always concerns me and anyway, cake and wires.... Just doesn't feel right. (I'm sure I just offended a professional cake decorator somewhere - if so, I apologize...)

I especially loved the topper we made for this cake.  The young bride and groom requested their initials painted into one of the flower toppers.  A brilliant and elegant idea.  Here is a picture of the top portion of the cake:

                                                  Congratulations Elizabeth and Steven!!
                                             We wish you a lifetime of joy and happiness!

First Wedding of October 2012

Congratulations to Casey and Jeremy! Our first October 2012 Wedding! Saturday, October 6th, 2012 was a huge milestone for Bliss-fullness because this was the first wedding cake baked and decorated out of our new bakery and not our home kitchen!! I adore all of our weddings and brides, but this particular wedding has been engraved in the history of Bliss-fullness!

Casey and Jeremy - Thanks for allowing us the honor of making your wedding cake!! Thanks also to Tanganyika and of course, our beautiful friends at the Flower Factory!!

 

 

 

Love and Sleep

Sometimes I feel like I must have chronic fatigue syndrome, but then I realize that my body and mind take a couple of days to recover from all of the work and lack of sleep that I get.  I was fortunate enough to sneak in a power nap today - I know it sounds insane, sleeping on the job, but I really needed it.  I felt so much better, albeit with a red bull in one hand and a coffee in the other, but hey, whatever it takes, right? 

Tommorrow I will be preparing a cake for a beautiful young couple and I am super excited about it!  I love weddings! Love and romance, friends, family, the union of two hearts, and new beginnings.  And the fall is such a great season for weddings.  My husband and I were married in September and the weather was gorgeous! So far this month has been quite beautiful too. 

Congratulations to the bride and groom of our first October 2012 wedding!!

I thought I would share some pictures from our wedding too! 

This is a picture of my husband and I in Dallas.  We stayed at a beautiful historic hotel that for the life of me I can't remember the name!  I will post it when it comes to me...

Our first dance and below, Johnny and I smiling at the camera.

 

Okay, so I googled it - The Adolphus Hotel in Dallas Texas.  If you ever get the chance to visit, you must check it out!

 

 

Another all-nighter...

Another all-nighter tonight...

It is almost 1:00 am and as I sit here in the office, with my pate choux baking in the convection oven, my croissants awaiting their 3rd turn, biscotti awaiting a second bake, and my husband snoring in the back, I realize how blessed we are.  Yes, I said blessed. Even though we are sort of 'stuck' in this position, working 24 hour days at times, we are truly fortunate that we are able to do this.

 I thank God everytime a customer walks in our doors, for all the business we get, whether it be for a small order or a large event, like tomorrow.  We knew what we were getting into when we decided to open a retail front, we were aware that there would be many sleepless nights in the beginning, and we have been well aware that this month, this wonderful October, is going to be CRAZY!  As in weddings every weekend, huge catering orders, business events, and many many custom cakes crazy.  (in a good way, of coarse, the busier we are, the better our business grows.)

So yes, I am happy, over-joyed, tired, and baking all at once. One of these days, we will be able to hire staff and actually have a decent work/life balance.  But until then, we will tough it out.  Whatever it takes.

And by the way, my husband isn't really snoring, but he is sleeping.  Definitely not fair.

Happy Saturday!

This is the cake that kept me up most of the night.  Decorating cakes is a such a challenge, yet also such a rewarding task.  I also made 2 smash cakes for the twins to match the theme on this cake.  Very cute concept.  The parents wanted the survivor theme for their twin's first birthday.  I absolutely love love love first birthdays!  They are so special and once again, I feel so blessed to play a part in such a joyous event. Wow, twins!  Proud of you mom and dad!  God is good!

Fall in Love...

I love the fall.  I also love spring - actually I love all the seasons.  But I especially love this time of year as the weather starts to slowly change and the leaves turn to beautiful reds, golden, and brown colors.  It just makes me feel so happy, inspired, and refreshed.  Another thing I love about the fall season are all of the weddings we are blessed to be a part of.  We feel so honored to be able to play such an integral part in the union of two hearts.  It fills us with such joy and gives us a deep sense of satisfaction and also reminds us of how much we love to do what we do best.

(Of coarse, we know that our talents are God-given and we always must give our props up high.)

Early mornings, red bull and diet mountain dew...

What a night! I was up until 2:30 last night. My 2 and 1/2 year old must have had a nightmare. He was inconsolable for what seemed like a very, very long time. After all of my attempts at stroking his hair, rubbing and patting his back, hugs, and I love you's, I decided to sing. Why didn't I think of that sooner? As soon as I uttered "hush little baby, don't say a word," he stopped crying. (by the way, it was 2 am and that was the only song I could think of - though definitely appropriate for the situation.)

Okay, enough about my crazy night of probably only 2 hours of sleep, we are back in the bakery by 5 am, busily preparing to open. Today we are putting out a couple of new products, cinnamon rolls and dutch apple tarts. Later, I'll put a new flavor in our display case - spiced pumpkin cupcakes.

A large part of my insomnia last night had to do with my relentless mind racing of all the new baked goods I wanted to start serving at the bakery. Fall is upon us and I feel a strong need to put out more flavors and give our customers a larger variety to choose from, seasonal and traditional. Well, we'll see how far I get with that today. I'm relying on this red bull/ diet mountain dew concoction to get me through the day

A baker's blog

So today is the day I begin my blogging adventure. I suppose I should introduce myself - My name is Angela Vasquez, my friends and family call me Angie. I have been blessed with 3 amazing children and an even more amazing husband, Johnny. You might find me referring to him as "chichi", an unfortunate nickname that was branded on him since birth. It means something like, "sweet, cute, tiny, little precious baby" in Spanish. Don't worry, he is more than used to this, not even embarrassed in the slightest!

So enough with the intoductions, my blog is basically my way of sharing with the world, our adventures in entering the retail bakery scene here in Wichita, KS. (My husband was raised in L.A. and I am from St. Louis, so ending up here in Wichita, is a whole different blog...) I am going to be completely, utterly, gut wrenchingly honest about our experiences - the good, the bad, and the very very ugly too! So get ready to read about our venture into the crazy world of business, baking, and family