Preemies and Broken Hearts

 

Yes, I know, this is a Baker's Blog...

 

This is also a blog about my life, my family, and the events that have led me on this path.   So today, I feel compelled to share some of the heartache and unspeakable joy I have endured throughout the past few years in my personal life.  So here it goes...

 

 

 I love children.  So much so, that prior to opening my bakery, I was a pediatric nurse.  I have a strong motherly, nurturing instinct that I have found extends past children, but also to adults.  People in general..  I just have this strong, compassionate side to me that I try to stifle every now and then to protect my oh so very sensitive heart.  I can't stand to see others hurting or in pain, emotional or physical.  It wounds me deeply.  Yes, I understand that we live in an imperfect world and it can't always be rainbows and butterflies.  But sometimes, I wish...

 

 

Anyway, back to my story.  I have 3 wonderful, amazing, and vigorous children. All boys - I love each of them dearly.  Each of them were born prematurely, emergency c-sections - all of them.  Before my last two children, I discussed with my physician about the possibilities of having a healthy, safe pregnancy.  He told me that there was no way to predict if I would or would not have medical problems with the next birth and that my husband and I should not let the "what if" prospect stop us from having children.  I'm so thankful for his advice, even though we struggled through each pregnancy, with the last being the most severe. 

 

 

My youngest boy was born 2 and a half months early.  It makes me want to cry thinking about it.  My ob/gyn was more than generous in allowing us to wait, on bedrest to buy more 'womb-time' for him.  Finally, after 2 months of bedrest at home and less than a week of "strict" bedrest in the hospital, our doctor laid it on us.  Wait any longer and we could lose the baby, we could lose me, or we could lose both of us.  So, it was then out of our hands and into God's.  

 

 

Here is a picture of Maddox a few hours after birth.  This picture still breaks my heart.  This is how he looked the first time I saw him in the NICU.  All 3 and a half pounds of him.







 

This picture below shows him grasping my thumb with his whole hand.  It gave me such hope.

This is the first time they let me hold him.  It was a dream come true.  My baby in my arms.  I held him for 3 hours straight.

This is the first time they allowed him to wear clothes.  He had to reach a certain weight and have better temperature regulation before they allowed clothing.  So the first time I dressed him.  Another milestone.

This is Maddox today.  He is almost bigger than his 2 year old brother.  He is perfect and healthy, and you would have never known how he struggled his way into this world.  We are so proud. 

 

Please visit us at www.bliss-fullness.com to see how you can make a difference in the life of a preemie, a family struggling through the loss of one, or to the wonderful volunteers who support those enduring their journeys through such heartache and emotional suffering.